Suffer Some More
by donnaspecter
Summary: -This is for my #darvey besties, inspired by the idea of Harvey suffering to get what he had always wanted- her.- Darvey (Donna and Harvey) fanfic. One shot. I hope you enjoy. -A xxx


**This fic needs explaining. If you are not one of those people familiar with #suffersomemore darvey joke than idk if its ok for you to read this because you will either hate me after reading this or wont understand a thing. But if u are here to suffer some more then enjoy! Channel your inner A (as Maya says), like I did writing this.**

Harvey woke up, it was a rainy day but that didn't seem to bother him lately. It was ironic for it to be sunny when his mood was anything but positive. He threw the sheets on the floor while standing up from the bed and went to the kitchen to get coffee.

He saw it then, that cactus she gave him. He had no idea why he kept it all this time, maybe because it reminded him of her and he knew he had to suffer some more before his heart would give him the courage to make things right again. He watered the plant, it didn't need to be watered but he did it every other day, afraid of it dying like their relationship. Cactus didn't have to suffer for their past mistakes.

That's when he saw it, blood running from his index finger- he cut himself with the plant and there he was- at 7am, unhappy, watering a stupid plant and bleeding the way his heart was for the past few months- slowly but it hurt anyway.

He decided to do something, today. After he showered he put on his favorite suit and was waiting for Ray in the lobby before 8am. Ray drove a little too fast and water splashed right onto Harvey, the bottom of his suit completely wet.

Ray ran out of the car and said "Sorry Harvey, I had no idea!" and he felt really bad, knowing those suits were probably worth more than his one month rent. Harvey just smiled weakly "Its okay, I need to suffer some more." And he got into the car. Ray had no idea what happened, but he knew as much- it was not a time to ask questions.

Harvey had no idea how to confront Donna, what to say to her or if he should actually even say anything. All he knew is that if he doesn't do it now, he might as well wait forever.

As he walked out of the car he bought two bagels, one for him and one for her- wishing he could do that every morning. As he got into the elevator Mike came in and took the bagel away, saying "Thanks Harvey, U didn't have to."  
Harvey knew if he said that it was for Donna, Mike would ask questions Harvey himself had no answers to, soo he just walked out without a word and bought another one.

His head was spinning and he felt his heartbeat in his index finger- the one that still hurt from the cut and he was nervous walking down the hallway to her cubicle. He didn't see Donna anywhere and Louis saw his confusion.

"She went for breakfast with Mitchell" and before Harvey had a chance to respond Louis walked away. He rolled his eyes, he wanted to smash the bagel into the wall but he knew he will regret it later, as if he could suffer even more.

Burying himself in work he didn't make any human contact until a few hours later when he heard a knock on his glass door, it was Scottie (because he needs to suffer some more). She greeted him and smiled, noticing that he wasn't in the mood.

"Hello, Long time no... um Sorry, am I interrupting you?" and she walked in to the office without waiting for him to respond. "Can I sit?"  
"Yes" and his face was emotionless, his eyes looking down the corridor to meet hers.

She looked at him, from the other side of the hall, knowing exactly what he was trying to tell her, her heart tightening as she felt the weight of a huge engagement ring on her finger. Mitchell proposed.

Why she did it? She had no idea. Maybe she thought it would be easier to get over someone you loved, still love for such a long time or maybe she wanted him to suffer some more. But she felt like the weight of the ring was making it harder for her to walk, breath knowing he was still there.

"Sorry Scottie, I really can´t right now." Is all Harvey managed to say as he walked out of his office and after Donna who was going to the file room to be alone, to go through what happened today with her and Mitchell.

As he walked inside he saw her then, walking left and right and crying. He felt a sudden need to punch whoever made her cry, not realizing it was him.

"Donna, are you okay?" its all he said, knowing she wasn't. He decided then and there it was enough, enough of them crying when they weren't together, enough of them being afraid and enough of not saying things they should have said a long time ago. He kissed her, first she was caught by surprise but then she kissed him back. He felt it then, a sudden pain. The whole box of files fall from the shelf onto his head and a sharp pain took over his senses.

The loud noise of files made her realize how wrong this whole thing was. Before she had a chance to ask Harvey if he is okay she started sobbing again. "I am engaged, I cant" is all she said, running out of the file room.

He was sitting on the floor, every inch of his body hurt and he felt like he failed at life. He lost the only thing important to him and after what Donna said he didn't know if he still had the chance to take it back. Files around him on the floor made him realize he spend his life fighting for unimportant things for unimportant people and the thing he wanted most- he didn't even fight for.

That night he walked the streets of NYC, the cold breeze hitting his skin and he thought he was imagining things as he saw her there, in all her glory. Then he remembered how she talked about a play a few days ago- somehow he always ended up where she was. She was on an open stage, saying some lines- he guessed they were from Shakespeare and the crowd was listening to her and her cast mates.

He went further into the crowd, next to some girl- he didn't catch her name but she called the guy standing next to her Uncle Aaron. He knew him barely as he lived in the same complex as him. The girl was listening to the play and commenting. Just as one of the lead actors fell down, acting his death she started laughing and her uncle looked at her. They said the same words at once "Suffer some more" and high fived each other.

The encounter he witnessed made him more aware of his situation than any Shakespeare play could. He knew he screwed up and he knew she deserved to be happy- maybe for all the pain he caused her in the past 12 years, this- the box falling onto his head, cutting himself, getting his suit ruined by mud and her being engaged wasn't enough.

She saw him then, just as the play ended. She gave him a questioning look and hid behind the curtain, talking to someone as if she was trying to avoid him. But that didn't stop him, not this time.

He was Harvey Specter and he wasn't about to back from a fight with a guy that didn't love Donna half as much as he did. He knew he was not done suffering, he didn't even care if he was about to spend the rest of his life cutting his fingers, bleeding because of her-metaphorically and literally.

He moved the curtain away and a light from the stage hit her skin. "Harvey, I can´t talk to you. I don't know how you found me here but I need you to stop. I need you to stop and let me go because I cant spend the rest of my life waiting for you." And a tears streamed down her face, one he quickly removed.

"I came here to tell you that its okay. I understand. I need to suffer and if there is anyway, one day you will feel like I finally deserve you I will be waiting." And he turned around, so quickly she couldn't say a word. She was caught off guard, surprised by his honestly. She wasn't the one for taking first steps, she was not as strong as she portrayed herself to be because she was hurt so much in her life that she was scared of rejection- she was a confident, strong woman and that tittle she nurtured with all her being and she was scared what rejection from him would do to her- that's why she left, when she did before he could take his _I love you_ back.

This time she didn't think about all red lights flashing and all the reasons why they shouldn't, she just went for it and kissed him. They fell off of the stage in one swift motion and he was lying there, for all she knew he could be dead.

"I imagined that you would be the death of me but I always thought it would be more than just a kiss when that happens." He said smiling, realizing he couldn´t feel his leg. She panicked, seeing he probably broke it.

2 hours later they walked out of the hospital, he on a huge amount of pain killers and on a wheel chair because his leg was in a huge cast and he wasn't supposed to move for a few days, she with a bandage on her head and as they stepped out of the hospital Ray was there to pick him up. She joined him in the car without saying anything.

They drove in silence, both thinking about how would they explain his broken leg and her hurt head. As Ray helped him out of the car Donna walked up to Harvey, taking of the engagement ring, she threw it in the air and it poked his eye. He basically started crying- not sure if it was his annoyance at what today was or the hurt he was feeling from every inch of his body but he controlled the tears before she noticed. He was too happy about her change of heart to even cry more.

"I will always love you Harvey and even if that means us going to the emergency room every time we kiss because with the 12 years wait we had, I wouldn't be surprised if one of us has a heart attack- assuming it would be you." And he smiled at her comment, knowing it was probably entirely true but he was more than okay with suffering, as long as she was the one healing his wounds.

"No matter what happens, me being with you Donna is the only way I can see myself living but only if that makes you happy. I just want you to be happy."

She kissed him, one last time before walking away. He turned around then, the wheel chair squeaking but he was too confused to notice, his lips still tasted of her lipstick. She turned around and said "Harvey we both know what will happen if I come up with you right now and with your condition I don't think it is a good idea for that to happen."

He smiled, looking at his leg. "I guess I will just have to suffer some more." and she smiled, before escaping down the street.

She had no idea how the day Mitchell proposed became the day she and Harvey stopped being a myth and became reality. He had no idea how he survived today but if being with her was suffering, then he was more than ready to suffer some more.

He started moving and the engagement ring she threw off of her finger got stuck in one of the wheels of his wheelchair and he collapsed on the floor, his head hurting and a chewed gum was stuck in his hair. He heard two people laughing, moving his head he saw it was those two people he heard talking at the Shakespeare play- Aaron and a teenage girl. Was that a coincidence? Somehow he felt like it wasn't, maybe they were just always searching for people like him, wanting them to suffer some more.

But he didn't care, as long as Donna was waiting for his leg to heal.

 **That's it. I was as cruel as I could be lol and I would like to thank everyone who gave their ideas and especially Maya (AnonymousDH206) because without her this wouldn't happen! I love this fandom so much and if you enjoyed this weird fic please review!**

 **-A xxxx**


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